According to Moonalice legend, pirates should be like Johnny Depp. The good ones have a peg leg, an eye patch, and/or a parrot. They say, "Shiver me timbers!" and "Arghhh!"

The news media has been filled with stories of evil people attacking ships off the coast of Somalia. They call themselves pirates. We are offended. These people are nothing more than violent criminals. They certainly aren't pirates. At least not our kind of pirates. So there.